"Wait ... so on one side, you're Amish, and on the other, you're British royalty?"
"Yes. And odds are, my British ancestors oppressed my Irish ancestors."
"Wow. No wonder you're so screwed up - doubly inbred!"
"And the horse you rode in on, buddy."

"What are your ultimate career goals and aspirations" has got to be the dumbest scholarship question I've ever heard. One, it assumes that college is a path to a career. Two, having an ultimate career goal implies that your goals and ambitions will not change. Three ... if it's so ultimate, what do you do once you're there? Seppuku? "Hey guys, I've reached my ultimate goal, there's nothing left for me in life. See you in the next one!"

Bah.  All the speed of the NHS with all the expense of private insurance.  Understaffed idiots.

Bureacracy is when you ask if perhaps the basement door to a lecture hall could be unlocked in the morning, and 10 days later, not only is it still locked, but you have emails going around with 8 people in the CC: line, and no one knows who the university's contact is at the maintenance company that does the unlocking.

Real bureacracy is when the same sort of request has sparked the same results three times already this year, and the CC: line is identical every time. But still, no one knows who the contact is.